Another year older another year wiser

I turned 35 yesterday. I feel wiser, somehow. Here is a list of, in Oprah's words, "What I know for sure."

Stress comes from inside. I used to think that stressful things happened to me. Now I realize it's how I choose to react that causes or prevents stress. This is a daily practice for me. I don't apologize for going my own way, for creating quiet and contemplative space for myself because it's what helps me stay centered.

Love is more about hard work than romance. I used to be one of those girls who thought that my one soul mate was out there somewhere, waiting to be found. I think we have lots of soulmates: friends, sisters, neices, nephews, lovers. Relationships require committment and time to become what you want them to be. Sure, some are more work than others but I have learned to choose my relationships wisely and spend my time working toward worthwhile goals and I think they have payed off.

Dwelling on the negative stuff causes the mind to get bogged down and is anti-productive. I am learning how to express myself and let go of things. It's important to acknowledge the wrongness and ugliness in life, but only if lifes beauty and justness are equally honored. This is a hard one I battle every day. Many of us are raised in a culture, society, and in families that make meaning through negativity. It has become a bad habit, but one that is reversible.

That's it- three little things that have come clear to me in my 35 years on the planet. I feel lucky and blessed to have lived this life and figured a little bit out.