to happiness! You've heard of the 12 step program. Well, I'm on the 8 step program. I've been reading a book called Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness: Walking the Buddha's Path written in an easy way for westerners to understand by a Sri Lankan Buddhist monk. Reminds me of the first Buddhist book I encountered and passed on years ago, A Path With Heart by Jack Kornfield. Both are basically a moral code, and many guidelines we already know are good moral choices/behaviors, but who doesn't need a reminder now and then?
The 8 Steps:
Skillful Understanding
Skillful Thinking
Skillful Speech
Skillful Action
Skillful Livelihood
Skillful Effort
Skillful Mindfulness
Skillful Concentration
I've read up to action. Allow me to summarize:
First, on happiness- Don't we all deserve to be happy? Doesn't this word mean different things to different people? I used to think happiness meant no bad energy and constant smiles. Then, I realized that if those actions are untrue to my heart, that is not true happiness. My definition is expanding (and shrinking) all the time, but I think happiness is a balance of accepting things as they are and improving myself. May sound contradictory, but I think when we accept people the way they are we redirect our energy inward and allow ourselves to evolve. Happiness is also integrity in decisions- it is feeling confident that you are making the best choices in the midst of not so ideal circumstances. Happiness is no regret because things unfold as they should, often without your consent. But it's not passive. It's softly active. Like a weed growing through cracks in the concrete- it is opportunistic and resilient. I also think of happiness as those moments of incredible, unexplainable clarity. That moment when I'm walking in the woods and I just feel everything will be alright. Even with global warming and the wars in Iraq, Sudan, and elsewhere, with child abuse and racism, somehow in an unexpected moment of grace, everything is alright. I want more of those moments. Which is why I've decided to walk this Eightfold Path.
Some highlights of the four steps I've taken:
Step One
Skillful Understanding
Cause and Effect- When we understand that our actions have results, we act to reduce our suffering and the suffering of others.
Step Two
Skillful Thinking
Mindfulness Training- We can train the mind to release us from unhealthy thought patterns and create healthy, helpful new ones.
Step Three
Skillful Speech
Thinking Before We Speak- Words have the power to heal or harm. (See my previous blog about talking too much)
Step Four
Skillful Action
Ethical Choices- The Five Precepts
1 not killing (this includes all beings, even insects)
2 not stealing (not even a paper clip)
3 not speaking falsely (yep, even a little white lie is prohibited)
4 not engaging in sexual misconduct (basically cheating on partner, raping, etc...)
5 not misusing intoxicants (of ANY kind)
Ok, so I thought this won't be that hard, especially numbers 1-4. Wrong! We have lots of spiders in our house and an occasional mouse problem in the garage, but I must refrain from killing them even if they are so-called "lower animals." You know, all God's creatures..... Not speaking falsely is surprisingly hard when I pay attention to how much I automatically create false excuses for my behavior. I'm working on #5 and realizing how much social drinking is a part of my life. Each of these precepts is based on the repercussions of such actions which for me is embodied in a pretty guilty conscience, which creates its own negative energy. When I'm aware of the pain these actions cause not just others but myself, it solidifies my belief in this path. The word karma comes to mind. But not just the next life results. Actually, the bad energy created in this life is proof enough that good decisions=happiness. If only I can remember this in the midst of those opportunities for growth.
I am reminded of an old boyfriend who told me I had no morals. I was outraged! To say that I had no morals was obviously him noticing we had different morals and he would have liked it if we shared the same ones. Still, when I thought about where my morals came from I was at a loss. Certainly family teaches morals and so does society, but if those morals aren't reiterated over and over (like in church) do they stick? Most likely the ex-boyfriend was noticing my ability to morally waiver, to create a hierarchy of morals which were sometimes followed or not, based on the situation.
He grew up Catholic and I don't recall his moral conviction particularly strong, but perhaps I wasn't the best judge.
Of course there are certain morals that are universal- the one about not killing comes to mind, especially as it relates to other humans. But what makes us choose wrongly, or conversely do the right thing?
The 8 Steps:
Skillful Understanding
Skillful Thinking
Skillful Speech
Skillful Action
Skillful Livelihood
Skillful Effort
Skillful Mindfulness
Skillful Concentration
I've read up to action. Allow me to summarize:
First, on happiness- Don't we all deserve to be happy? Doesn't this word mean different things to different people? I used to think happiness meant no bad energy and constant smiles. Then, I realized that if those actions are untrue to my heart, that is not true happiness. My definition is expanding (and shrinking) all the time, but I think happiness is a balance of accepting things as they are and improving myself. May sound contradictory, but I think when we accept people the way they are we redirect our energy inward and allow ourselves to evolve. Happiness is also integrity in decisions- it is feeling confident that you are making the best choices in the midst of not so ideal circumstances. Happiness is no regret because things unfold as they should, often without your consent. But it's not passive. It's softly active. Like a weed growing through cracks in the concrete- it is opportunistic and resilient. I also think of happiness as those moments of incredible, unexplainable clarity. That moment when I'm walking in the woods and I just feel everything will be alright. Even with global warming and the wars in Iraq, Sudan, and elsewhere, with child abuse and racism, somehow in an unexpected moment of grace, everything is alright. I want more of those moments. Which is why I've decided to walk this Eightfold Path.
Some highlights of the four steps I've taken:
Step One
Skillful Understanding
Cause and Effect- When we understand that our actions have results, we act to reduce our suffering and the suffering of others.
Step Two
Skillful Thinking
Mindfulness Training- We can train the mind to release us from unhealthy thought patterns and create healthy, helpful new ones.
Step Three
Skillful Speech
Thinking Before We Speak- Words have the power to heal or harm. (See my previous blog about talking too much)
Step Four
Skillful Action
Ethical Choices- The Five Precepts
1 not killing (this includes all beings, even insects)
2 not stealing (not even a paper clip)
3 not speaking falsely (yep, even a little white lie is prohibited)
4 not engaging in sexual misconduct (basically cheating on partner, raping, etc...)
5 not misusing intoxicants (of ANY kind)
Ok, so I thought this won't be that hard, especially numbers 1-4. Wrong! We have lots of spiders in our house and an occasional mouse problem in the garage, but I must refrain from killing them even if they are so-called "lower animals." You know, all God's creatures..... Not speaking falsely is surprisingly hard when I pay attention to how much I automatically create false excuses for my behavior. I'm working on #5 and realizing how much social drinking is a part of my life. Each of these precepts is based on the repercussions of such actions which for me is embodied in a pretty guilty conscience, which creates its own negative energy. When I'm aware of the pain these actions cause not just others but myself, it solidifies my belief in this path. The word karma comes to mind. But not just the next life results. Actually, the bad energy created in this life is proof enough that good decisions=happiness. If only I can remember this in the midst of those opportunities for growth.
I am reminded of an old boyfriend who told me I had no morals. I was outraged! To say that I had no morals was obviously him noticing we had different morals and he would have liked it if we shared the same ones. Still, when I thought about where my morals came from I was at a loss. Certainly family teaches morals and so does society, but if those morals aren't reiterated over and over (like in church) do they stick? Most likely the ex-boyfriend was noticing my ability to morally waiver, to create a hierarchy of morals which were sometimes followed or not, based on the situation.
He grew up Catholic and I don't recall his moral conviction particularly strong, but perhaps I wasn't the best judge.
Of course there are certain morals that are universal- the one about not killing comes to mind, especially as it relates to other humans. But what makes us choose wrongly, or conversely do the right thing?
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